Not your point of view…but don’t diminish it

Recently, at one of our company’s very liberal, semi regular “women’s meetings”, we were having a discussion about whether styles in delegation are gender specific.  And it has been my experience, that gender is not as paramount anymore regarding delegation styles, but what is dominant is personality and management style and these traits are not gender specific.

In response to my comment, one of the meeting’s organizers immediately stated authoratatively that not one woman at our company, in a management position, would delegate in an autocratic manner.  And because I did not want to be confrontational, the response was made and we moved on to the next person.

However, I knew immediately, from looking around the boardroom table, those “autocratic” delegators knew who they were and those who had been on the receiving end, knew who they were.  But no one wanted to call anyone out.  And in hindsight, I should have should, “that may not be your experience, but not for everyone”.  Because I did not want to be that person……the person who is constantly trying to hold a mirror up to others or teach them the error of their ways.  The one thing I have learned, much like the Danish Law of Jante, Rule 10 – You’re not to think you can teach anyone anything.  

But the meeting did leave me sad.  Have we really not evolved to being able to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and see the world, if only for a moment, from their point of view?  Just because someone has never experienced sexism, racism, classism, shadism or any other type of “ism”, does not make it “not so”.  But unilaterally stating that it has not been your experience – what does that contribute to the discussion?  Does it not really just shut the discussion down?

Given all that is going on in the world right now, I think that different points of views have to be acknowledged and heard.  Because it is too easy to get stuck in your own lane, and forget that you are surrounded by millions of others on their own journey who have a different point of view.

That’s just one Diva’s view.



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