On the week-end, I was in a change room with my daughters. A woman came up to me to ask if they were twins and I responded that they were and then she asked how old they were. I advised that they were about to turn 6. And she responded, “They are tiny”, while standing over them. And that’s when I got angry, but decided to respond, as little eyes and ears were observing everything, and said that no one had ever referred to them as tiny and in fact, when they were born, they were each 6 lbs. Probably more information than she needed, but she did not say anything and left. I continued to change my children, but inside, I was upset. Do people really have no sense? And the answer is no!
I guess that I am more attune with this, since I have always been of a “smaller frame”, which is the kind way of saying skinny, thin, slender, skeletal……you name it, it has been said to my face.
And I was about the age of my girls, when I started to demonstrate a smaller but natural frame, which I had inherited genetically from my parents, when they were younger. And as a kid, being heard yourself described as skinny and constantly being told by family, friends and strangers “to eat” really took a toll. I have learned to accept that I have a naturally smaller build now, but back then, it seemed to be the only reason I drew attention. Not because of my talents or successes, but it was a way to define me in a negative way, because too many compliments may spoil the child, you know !
And I really do not want this to be repeated for my children. If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Especially, when young and impressionable children are listening. Because as much as my parents made me feel beautiful and loved, the defining mark on me were comments by others on my weight and size and I really do not want my children having that same experience. And I know that I cannot shield my kids from everything, but I can say, hey world – have some sense and think before you speak. Be kind and keep your unkind thoughts to yourself.
But that’s just one Diva’s view.