It is funny how in some aspects, we have evolved and in others, we remain stagnant. Take the example of the get together or dinner party.
Typically, for women, it is not the relaxing experience expected. Even though we are about to finish off 2019, when it comes to the dinner party, I still see a lot of the 1950s…..
Typically, when you arrive to a party hosted by a heterogenous couple, the man takes the coats, and then deals with the drinks and then he retires to an area with the other men and they drink, come to get dinner when called, and retire again.
Whereas for women, the experience is different. The women come in, and if there are kids, deal with getting them settled, hydrated and fed, and then help themselves to a drink and appetizers, all the while, trying to be helpful, by assisting in preparations for the get together, whether it be preparing food, assisting in setting it out, helping with the clean up etc…
Sometimes it can be just as busy, as if one stayed at home, except you get to do it in fancy dress!
We have a rule, that we adopted from friends of ours, when hosting. When people come over to our house, the rule is – NO HELPING for anyone. If we are hosting, we take care of all aspects of hosting, including clean up. We want anyone attending to just enjoy, and genuinely have a night to relax.
And therefore, for this group of friends, the rule is the same – when we go over to their house, they are responsible for the evening and we can attend to just relax and enjoy great company.
I honestly think that this should be the rule for all get togethers and dinner parties. But sometimes, the cultural component can be a pressing factor.
In our culture, the expectation is that the women deal with the kitchen responsibilities and if one woman is not, then there is talk …..and it becomes an issue. So instead of it becoming an issue, there has to be a show of helping and contributing, which can get exhausting.
In this day and age, I think that everyone deserves a night out to just relax….and don’t tell me that doing dishes is relaxing for you. Sit down, grab a drink and really listen and engage in a conversation with someone.
With our busy schedules, and lives, doesn’t everyone deserve a night to just unwind, be with friends, enjoy good food and drink and not have to worry about being judged for being lazy? I think so.
But that’s just one Diva’s view.