Feeling of Despair

I was listening this morning to the Breakfast Club on Flow 93.5 where callers were talking about the Breonna Taylor grand jury decision, the lack of police charges and the feeling of despair being felt by black women. One black female caller said it best – where and when have I ever had the opportunity to feel “safe”? That saddened me beyond belief.

The quote that has been resurrected at this time is by Malcolm X, “The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.” How ironic that a quote from 1962 is as on point today as it was then!

We have been speaking about this case at home and have not shied away from discussing it with our young children. And to see the look of disbelief on their faces that someone could be shot, while sleeping in their bed, without any probable cause, is heartbreaking. And for the longest time, we have shielded our children from the realities of the outside world, so that they could have a “childhood” but being in a pandemic and the changes going on in the world; the bubble has burst.

It has been an especially sad week here in Ontario, to learn that a little 3 year old girl died because of lack of proper medical attention. She died of a strep infection that could have been treated with antibiotics, but every health practitioner she was seen by, or facility she was taken to, was too busy to see her or only did a cursory examination and no one took what the parents said seriously. Again, this really hit home, because I have young children and parents know their kids best and know when there is something more serious going on. To have that ignored and end up with such a tragedy, is heartbreaking.

And to top off this week, our COVID numbers are creeping back up to levels last seen in May, during the height. And knowing that we are going back into a lock down, really does cause more concern and fear. To hear the rhetoric of Trump on a daily basis. To explain to colleagues, why as a South Asian family, we will not be travelling to the US, in its current state……It all got to be too much!

And so, while I was driving to work today, the despair of this week, was too much and the sadness was too great to contain and the tears started falling down my face. And as I tried to wipe them away, I knew that the tears would be the only relief I would have in that moment, from everything I was feeling. So I stopped trying to wipe them away and let them be.

It is sad, in its truest sense of the word, that we are in this state of the world.

And I pray that things will get better. I pray that we will learn from these experiences. I pray that we will come out on the other side, in a better place, in a better mindset.

I think that’s all I can do today.

But that’s just one Diva’s view.

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