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Navigating friendships at this stage in life

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Because my home life growing up was quite unstable, I took a lot of comfort in the stability of my friends. I was blessed, in my early tween years, to develop friendships with a core group, who remain close friends to date. I have always felt blessed to have this circle around me. During school, we had so many shared experiences and as we all went our separate ways post high school, we would always return and find time to hang out together. We have been to each other’s weddings, 2 in the group even marrying, the birth of kids, illnesses and dealing with aging parents – we have remained there for each other.

But I have also developed other circle of friends, as one does, throughout my life. And I have to say that I was spoiled from my initial group. I truly believed that given the precedent set, that friendships remain forever. How naive. And throughout university and while working, I have learned to navigate the loss of friendships for no other reason than these people decided or due to circumstances, to move on.

The drifting, to me, is natural. But there have been a couple of instances, where a person, has made the decision that our friendship, is no longer a benefit to them and therefore, it has stopped. There were no conversations or explanations, as one has in a break up, with a significant other. The friend just stopped responding to invitations and stopped communications. In those instances, it used to cause a lot of angst and a lot of internal questioning as to whether there was something that I had done. As I have become older, I honestly have come to realize (but it was a process), that the ending of friendships, was natural, a choice of the other person and likely had nothing really to do with me, but with that person and what they needed in their life. What persons or friends, were necessary for who they are now, as we all evolve and change.

In one friend group of 5, one friend made the decision to remove herself from the circle. We collectively kept inviting her to events, reaching out and having discussions about this friend. I was the one who finally said that I did not want to keep rehashing this topic. If the friend wanted to rejoin, they could and had all of our contact information. But if an event was being planned for me, then I no longer wanted an invitation sent to this person, because too much time had passed, and it seemed disingenuous, to keep making an effort, after years of no effort from this friend. The lack of reciprocity did not sit well with me. And so any discussions about this other person have stopped and I have to say, that this revised circle, has remained strong.

But I am now at a crossroads. I celebrated a milestone birthday this year and have been involved in self reflection about who and what I need, to surround myself with, going forward. And I have started to realize, that based on loyalty to the concept of friendship, I have maintained certain relationships, when they no longer enrich my life and in fact, just the opposite, they bring a level of stress and dislike to my life. And now I am at a point, for the first time, where I am deciding whether I need to start distancing myself from certain people.

It has been in the making for some time, but I am truly a Taurus, and loyalty is important to us. It is a key characteristic. And so this has been at times, divisive, but at other times, decisive. I am at a stage in life, where I no longer feel the need to fit in, but am proud of being my unique self. And I have started to speak more freely about things that I had previously been quiet about, because it did not reflect the collective of the friend group. And there have been moments of shock in response, where honestly, friends had never thought to see the world through my lens and when they did, realized, that I indeed, do have a different narrative from them. We have been so focused on our collective similarities, that the differences became muted. But that started to feel unnatural to me. If these friends are going to remain in my life, then shouldn’t it be because they want to be friends with the true me?

And I have always found that I have celebrated others wins and I strongly believe in lifting those around me, because, that brings me peace. However, I am starting to notice that those friends who relationships I am questioning, are (so uncomfortable using this word) jealous about certain aspects of me. Oprah has been talking about the fact that if there is jealousy in the dynamic, then there cannot be true friendship and I am really starting to see the truth in those words. Many of my friends have come from more affluent starts and have had opportunities different than mine. And although I recognized those realities, I never begrudged those opportunities. Instead, again, from my original circle, we just always celebrated each other. Simple and easy.

However, that mindset has not always been present with other friend groups and that feeling of being scrutinized and constantly assessed, is not a dynamic I want in my life any longer. I also don’t want a constant negative aspect in my life. I have a few friends who whatever stage in life they are in, report back the challenges and the negativity and it become the focus of all conversations. I understand the need to vent in friendships – trust me I do. But one’s life cannot always be at its worst and hardest. That level of negativity, is also a dynamic, I no longer want around me.

I want honesty, trust and comfort to be one’s self, but if one’s self is always focused on the negative, then I think that I am out, for now.

And so, do I drift away, or do I explain my decision, to those people, who I no longer see benefitting me? I am still working on this aspect.

Adulting is hard – I am waiting for it to get easier.

But that’s just one Diva’s view.

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Music Association

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When I moved to residence for undergrad, this guy on moving day, played the song, No Rain, by Blind Melon, on repeat. Whenever I hear that song, I remember what it was like to have my first taste of independence. Up until that time, I had lived at home with very strict parents and had very limited social experiences. And as I moved into a dorm, I knew that this would all change. I remember finding a grocery store, and buying food my parents had never allowed : Chef Boyardee canned pasta, Sugared Cereal, and bringing it back to my new temporary home, only to discover, that after the first few bites, it was not as good as I had hoped. That was the year that Snoop Dogg released his debut album, and throughout residence, we heard, Gin and Juice and What’s My Name. I had a good friend circle on our floor, and I remember one friend buying me a CD single of Whatta Man, by Salt N Peppa, featuring En Vogue. Such great memories.

When I left to start law school, I took the train. I was looking forward to the law school experience, but nervous on many different levels as well.

My brother, who is 7 years younger, was already a guitar aficionado, and had a love for British Alternative Music. And back in those days, there was no Spotify or playlists – if you wanted to share music, you made the person a mixed tape. And that is what my brother did. He made me 2 mixed tapes to listen to on my train ride to London and for law school. And that is just what I did on that train ride – I listened to the amazing compilation of music that my brother introduced me to – Oasis, Blur, The Verve, Bush – it was all great music. And different from the music I typically listened to. And as the various small towns zoomed by, and home sickness dawned, my brother’s music comforted me. I still have those tapes. That music is still very comforting to me. It still brings me back to the train, every time.

And in my first year of law school, I shared a townhouse with my childhood friend, going to Teacher’s College, her former roommate and a friend of that roommate. Our townhouse was beside a guy one year senior to me in Law School and his friends. This was the year when the Beastie Boys released, Hello Nasty and we heard the track Intergalactic, on repeat, through the walls. I became a fan.

When I was articling, my fellow student shared his Stevie Wonder CD compilation with me, and it was life changing. I had always been a Stevie Wonder fan, but having access to that enormous library of great music, was such a treasured experience.

Throughout my articles and early associate years, I listened to a lot of Jazz and female jazz singers. I remember hearing the song, Stronger Than Me, by Amy Winehouse in 2003 and I was done. I ran to buy her CD and listened to that non stop. I felt that I had discovered a new find and no one I knew, was into her, but that later changed, didn’t it?

And now? Now – I go out of my way to introduce my kids to music that have been such a part of my life.

My kids and I were watching a show and I quickly asked them to identify the classical piece, and one daughter got it – Vivaldi, The Four Seasons – Spring. My heart burst with pride. Classical music has always been a constant for me, through piano, band and choir. Singing Mozart’s Requiem remains one of my favourite singing experiences. I did not have a solo – just part of the ensemble, but the beauty of that composition and the emotions it invokes, is other worldly.

And that’s what I want for my kids – the music associated with great memories. For my husband, that song is September, by Earth, Wind and Fire and because my son’s birthday falls in that month, it just makes the song sweeter for him

I am looking forward to one day hearing the soundtrack for my kids and what songs they associate with special events. The power of music. And I hope mixed into their favourites, are some songs that they associate with me.

But that’s just one Diva’s view.

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This Life of Mine

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I am new to the podcast world. However, I have fallen for the James Corden podcast, This Life of Mine. Even when I do not know the guest, such as some of the athletes, I am always inspired by their stories, their drive and their insights. The show comprises of each guest choosing their favourite person, place, memory, song and movie. For athletes, they are asked to choose their favourite sporting memory.

So in no particular order, I decided to tackle these questions. Often the guests comment on how difficult it is to narrow the answer down to one and agree – it is challenging. But I think that it would be interesting to determine if 10 years down the road, whether the guests still agree with their answers.

Favourite memory

I have a lot, but one that sticks with me a lot is a memory I had with my Dad. My Dad and I were very close and although we had our disagreements, we had a lot of common traits and likes. Because he was my primary caretaker when I was a toddler, he left an indelible mark on me regarding music, movies and structure. And so my memory takes me to when I was 12 or 13 years of age. We had a time share where the primary location was in Thornbury on the Georgian Bay.

We were there for a couple of weeks in the summer and I have such great memories of that time. My parents allowed my brother and I to rent Dirty Dancing, and we watched it back to back one night, after my parents went to sleep. But the memory that sticks out for me is that my Dad and I planned one morning to get up super early to jump from the docks into Georgian Bay. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I hate cold water and that it takes me 1200 minutes to get into a pool, or body of water.

That morning, the air was crisp. We got changed quickly, so that we would not wake my Mom and brother. The sun had just risen, and it was a beautiful morning. No one else was out. My Dad jumped in first and after a brief moment of hesitation, I jumped as well. It was bone chilling but then glorious. And we swam for a while, in Georgian Bay, with the sun starting to rise over us. It was peaceful and bonding and that moment gives me a lot of comfort. It taught me that I could overcome my fears and that the reward was greater than anything that I could have imagined. And I learned that shared moments, often make for the best ones.

Favourite song

This was very challenging for me. I love music and to narrow it down to one song is very difficult. However, I wanted to choose something happy, inspiring and long lasting for me. I went with “As”, by Stevie Wonder and closely following by the interpretation by George Michel and Mary J Blige. The chorus is what always uplifts me, no matter what:

Until the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky
Always
Until the ocean covers every mountain high
Always
Until the dolphin flies and parrots live at sea
Always
Until we dream of life and life becomes a dream

That last line in the chorus is just pure beauty.

And for me, even before the lyrics, the dynamic melody is essential for me. My kids will tell you that I am horrible with remembering lyrics, but I can hum the melody of any song perfectly, and place me in front of a keyboard and I can bang out the melody fairly quickly.

We played the song at our wedding. I still remember hearing the song for the first time, and the pure joy I felt. I remember watching it became a big part of the movie, The Best Man, which I love and loved the symbiosis.

When I was in law school, my classmate, Michael, who was also a George Michael fan, told me that George had re-done the song with Mary J, but it had only been released in the UK and never in North America. I searched to find a copy and when I did, I was not disappointed. And if it is playing in the car, I am not changing the station and you will see me singing along as if I were on stage with the greats!

Favourite Movie

This was a quick answer – Gandhi. As has been previously chronicled, I saw the movie when it first came out and was only 7. And again, I know that many friends take issue with the historical accuracy and the depiction of events, which I respect.

For me, it was the first time that I saw visualized, what my parents had taught me about India’s Independence and Gandhi. The majestic manner in which this movie was produced, just filled me with awe.

From the opening where Gandhi is assassinated and his funeral procession with an inspiring soundtrack by legendary Ravi Shankar, I was lost. The emotions that this movie stirred in me and still ring true.

When the men attend the March at the Salt Mines, and row after row of men are struck down without fighting back, espousing the Non Violence beliefs of Gandhi, my heart breaks every time at the injustice but I am stirred with their commitment. The indelible mark this movie left on me remains and I cannot wait to share this movie with my kids. I have it both on VHS, DVD, digital – you name it, I have a copy of it. And to contextualize the movie, I was a child of the 70’s where in Canada, India was associated with extreme poverty and slums. And there really was no representation of the South Asian experience in any media forum outside of what was being generated by India. So for this movie to be a mainstream movie, on such a large scale with bold, memorable and respectful performances, was very important for me.

Possession

The possession that is my most important treasure, is my wedding ring. So funny story – the engagement ring my husband bought to propose to me, was something he picked up while he was out at sea, so that he would have a ring. But he asked me to return it (that’s a story for another day) and he and I chose my engagement ring and wedding bands together.

At the time, it was a very unique design. What gives me joy is that it foresaw our life together. It is 3 bands, which for me, represent each of our children. In the centre, there is a round diamond, with a round circle of diamonds surrounding it. I look at the centre to represent our entire family, and the round circle encapsulating it, to be representative of my husband and I, holding our family together.

The circle represents, no end and no beginning; just the constant that we as a family are. We did not think about the symbolism when we chose it, but we must have manifested our family as a result. My husband has asked a few times, if I wanted to upgrade it and my response is always a vehement NO. The meaning that this ring holds for me on a daily basis, reinforces that the best thing in my life ever to happen, is the life I have with my husband and kids, and it truly was a dream come for me.

Favourite place

My favourite place is not one specific place, but anywhere by the water. I find water, its smell, its presence, its sound, its feel, all very soothing for my soul. When I was a kid, my Dad would always take me for walks along Lake Ontario. I would find worn down pieces of bottles, and imagine they were jewels. He would take me to the Forks of the Credit River and we would cross the River, hopping from rock to rock and feeling the water rush past.

When I was older and visited the ocean for the first time, I thought – I am home.

My first place on my own, was a condo down by the Lake. I loved going for walks along the Lake, and later when I met my husband and then had my girls, our walks and adventures there always filled all of us with such joy and happiness.

On my birthday in 2008, we were in Dubai, and I remember dipping my feet in the Perian Gulf.

Now- with my kids, whenever the weather is nice and my husband is away, the kids and I end up at the Lake, throwing rocks and skipping stones, walking along the dock and getting an ice cream. The kids love our Caribbean get aways, and we have countless photos of them on the beach, playing in the sand and enjoying the sun.

Whenever I retire, whenever that might be, being close to the water is important for me. The water gives me peace and contentment. It is my happy spot for always. And not to be morbid, but a body of water is where I would like my ashes to be spread, when I have transitioned.

Favourite Person

My favourite person was a teacher of mine – Marg-Rheta Wright. She passed away many years ago (15), but she was my favourite person and had an amazing influence on my life. When I started high school, it was her first year teaching music. She was maybe 10 years older than us. She had elfin hair, a uniquely creative wardrobe, and a heart of gold. She fascinated me. She did not see me as a South Asian girl, struggling to find her fit in the predominantly white school I attended, but she saw me as a person. Someone with musical talent. Someone who came from a challenging home life and escaped in music and doing well in all aspects of school. She saw me as someone who read voraciously, and loved all things romance and historical. She gave me opportunities to shine and to push myself out of my comfort zone. When we had to choose a new instrument, she nudged me to choose the bassoon, which was the same size as me and yet, I loved the uniqueness of accomplishing a new instrument. She gave me opportunities to work in the summer in the music room, teaching music, re-organizing the music room -whatever she could do to help. It made a difference. She would bring giant shopping bags of books for me, to read. And she made an audition tape for me and application and sent it to a performing Arts school in New York, where I was accepted. And she came to my home and spoke to my Dad, knowing our family dynamics and advocated for me, even though we both knew the opportunity was not going to happen. And later, when I was in university, and she decided to go back and get her Masters in Arizona and assist Lorna Luft, Judy Garland’s half sister, she became a friend and spoke to me as if I were an equal. She never spoke down to me. She always believed in me. She was there at my wedding and I was there at her funeral.

It was the first time I opened up about what my home life was like to anyone and she never judged me or defined me by it. She consoled me and would always give my Mom a big hug when she saw her and was strong, but respectful when dealing with my Dad. She made me feel safe and that really helped me become me. Because she made me believe in me, my gifts, my talents and my future. She was such an important teacher for so many of us and she truly made her gift her vocation; being a true teacher.

So those are my choices. A lot of reflection and selection. It was definitely challenging but was a fascinating exercise, one which I encourage you to take.

But that’s just one Diva’s view.

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My fascination with the Arts

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One of my favourite memories growing up was listening to my parents share stories about growing up in India and Trinidad. There was something so fulfilling to learn about our history and ancestry and it definitely shaped who I am. My Mom shared stores of her fearlessness, climbing mango trees to the very top and roaming around in the countryside- they were inspiring.

However, one of the stories I was fascinated with growing up, was from my Dad. He was born in Calcutta and was a young boy during Partition in India. Calcutta was one of the cities which experienced a lot of strife and division and the State of Bengal was divided with half remaining in India and the other half, to form East Pakistan, later known as Bangladesh. My grandfather owned one of the first Bata shoe companies in India, and had gone to the Czech Republic, for training, before opening the store. However, as a result of Partition, the store was burned down. There was no insurance and the family was struggling as a result.

The folklore is that my Dad was on the verandah singing, when a movie director was walking by and heard him. He was looking to cast a young boy in a movie and my Dad was chosen. It was the answer to the family’s financial problems. My Dad was pulled out of school and made this film. The money was used to rebuild the family business. My Dad’s love of movies, was born and then passed down to me. However, my Dad did not get to enjoy the earnings, and he was asked to leave the school he was attending at the time, because he missed so much school to do the movie. The experience really fostered in my Dad a reliance on self education and constant learning, but I digress.

My Dad’s cousin brother, lived in the family compound. He went onto become a huge Bollywood star and growing up, we used to watch him in both Hindi and Bengali movies. Hindi movies were iconic for us, growing up and to know that we had a relative who was a movie star was “mind blasting”. We learned one of his songs, which we would perform and became one of my favourites – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kru9g_K5IPo

And from there and this legacy, my fascination for movies and the Arts was born. As previously described, I love movies. I love the process of making movies and learning about the origins of the movies, the production process, the direction of the movie by the Director and the actors. I love to hear the stories about the process about making the movie – the trials and tribulations and then I devour the promotion of the movie, the opening etc.. I love music and I don’t think a single day has gone by without music in my life. I love singing and enjoying great performances – it is soul fuelling.

It is curious because I was bit by the performing bug early on. My Dad would have me performing at cultural shows from the time that I was 4 before an audience of 200 plus people. My dance performances left much to be desired, by my singing and acting performances, really allowed my inner creativity to shine! I participated in school musicals and plays and was very active with our school’s music program- both singing and instrument wise. My Music teacher actually made an application for me to a New York Performing Arts school and I was accepted. But I knew that as much as my Dad loved this world, my parents would not support me pursuing this as a vocation. I had to be sensible and choose an occupation which would give me a steadier path and so I chose the career I have now, with no regrets.

But my choice in vocation did not temper my fascination for the Arts. I find the Arts and the creative process so fascinating. I find for me, music, movies and the history to be meditative, because I can immerse myself in it so fully, that my mind actually shuts down and enjoys the beauty. It is my escape. I have tried to learn to knit, sew or garden as beautifully as my Mom did, but it must have skipped a generation. It definitely did because my Son is right now focused on growing his Cherry Tomato plant. But I am so lucky that I have my passion for music and movies. It really allows me to keep my creativity going and given the chaos in the world, isn’t it nice to have an escape?

But that’s just one Diva’s view.

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Tracee Ellis Ross – can we be friends?

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I listened this morning to the James Corden podcast, This Life of Mine, for the first time and I decided to start with his episode featuring Tracee Ellis Ross. Tracee Ellis Ross, for me, is just, luminescent. She is 51 and part of the episode focused on what it is like to be at this time of life, which I can relate to.

But more importantly for me, the reason Tracee stands out is because she has been in my background consciousness throughout my adulthood. When I was growing up in Canada, there were no English movies or television shows, featuring South Asian stories or actors. And for me, the bond I saw between Black characters or Latinas, was closer to what I saw in my family dynamic, with my West Indian family and my South Asian friends. And so Girlfriends became a staple for me.

I loved the dynamic between the 4 girlfriends, living the LA lifestyle. Tracee’s character played a lawyer named Joan and I was just entering the legal profession, so her character is the one that I resonated with. I loved her style on the show and her confidence in work, but her lack of confidence in her personal life, which again, I related to. Girlfriends gave me 30 minutes of wishing I was a part of that dynamic and gave me an outlet to see someone not white, dealing with some of the issues, I was encountering in law (not being seen as one of the club, fighting for recognition etc…)

Fast forward to Black-ish, which was a staple for my husband and I. We loved watching the family dynamic of 2 working professionals, juggling family, career and parents. Again, the playful dynamic between Tracee’s character Bow, and her husband Dre, resonated, because my husband and I will often try to tackle the day to day with laughter and fun, in the same way. However, we also do not shy away from having challenging discussions about world events and issues we are all encountering.

And so as I was listening to Tracee discuss her favourite show, “The Gilded Age” (mine too), I loved her response about her love for fashion. She described her fashion as being an artistic and creative outlet for her to express herself, and that struck a chord, because that is how I feel about fashion. It allows me to express myself artistically, on a daily basis, to personify, how I am feeling, reflecting the weather or providing me the armour to tackle the day’s events, of course always with style.

When I started off in law, I went and bought 3 expensive suits – one in black, dark grey and navy blue. Because we were in Court almost on a daily basis, those were my staples. And also, I wanted to be taken seriously and blend in. I did not want to draw any attention to myself in any way, other than for good work, because I was already different being a racialized woman with a nose ring.

However, throughout my tenure, and watching some really fun female lawyers both on television and in real life, show me that I can still be taken seriously, without sacrificing my style, I dived right in! And it truly brings joy to my day – accessorizing, and putting together a look. And I have totally accepted that if I am still going to stand out in any event, because I am a racialized female lawyer, I might as well give everyone something to look at. I was recently honoured with a legal award, which was very meaningful for me, and my look of choice was a bright pink brocade suit with an Asian print. I wanted to be true to myself and I wanted to feel comfortable being me. The suit was a hit and I hope that it also prompted others to make bold fashion choices.

But that’s just one Diva’s view!

@ThisLifeofMine @TraceeEllisRoss @fashion @Girlfriends @Black-ish

Musings

Posh Spice and 50th

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So Posh has been a constant in my life. I remember the first time I heard the Spice Girls sing Wannabe and thought – this is a hit! In a talent show, doing a Spice Girl parody, you guessed it – I played Posh. I mean we have so much in common LOL. But seriously – from one Taurus to another and born in the same year, I started looking to Posh Spice for shared milestone birthday celebrations and life journeys.

My husband and I recently watched the David Beckham documentary on Netflix and we really enjoyed and were inspired by his story and his life’s approach. And you can see that he and Posh have a great connection. They tease, support and love each other and even through the ups and downs, they have remained dedicated to their relationship and their family. And the follow up with the Uber delivery/eats Super Bowl commercial, carried through the teasing from the documentary, which was great. Looking forward to her documentary!

And so as Posh marks her 50th birthday, I have to say, that what has always resonated about her with me, is that she seems very comfortable with who she is, and her goals and aspirations. She has had a lot of people speak about her – both positive and negative and she seems to take it in stride, which is something I am working on. She is also extremely disciplined in terms of her health and she looks fabulous. She would definitely be someone I would love to meet at a dinner party and hear her anecdotes. She has lived her life and she definitely owns it all, yet maintains a serene joy, which I admire.

And ofcourse – her style. Although different from mine, she knows what works for her and is committed to that. I like that confidence.

And I love that she has fully leaned into her 50th birthday celebration. With my milestone fast approaching, I have felt hesitant about how to personally celebrate it. Both of my parents are deceased and that plays a part. On my drive today, I realized that I did not have those ancestors to direct me on my journey as I age. I cannot look at them, for markers nor do I have their support or foundation. Especially from my Mom. She was strict with me – there is no doubt. But she really was my greatest cheerleader. She was present in my life at all times, even when she became sick, and I valued her presence and influence. As indicated before, whenever I have a special moment in my life, I ensure that I wear a piece of jewellery or accessory from my Mom, so that I feel her presence with me. On these types of moments, there is a feeling of being bereft without this presence. And it definitely plays a part in how I will be feeling. She taught me to laugh loudly, wear bright colours proudly, celebrate sarcasm and teasing and to never shy away from standing tall and being bold; lessons I continue to carry with me.

I have a lot to be thankful for and I will ensure, that will be the focus on this next chapter on the horizon.

But that’s just one Diva’s view.

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Fashion Inspiration from the Big Screen- part 1

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I have always been captivated by the fashion on the big screen. The costume designers put together clothes, which continue the story line being portrayed and have been fabulous in creating memorable moments and images. If only I had the talent….sigh!

Image 1 – Rita Moreno – West Side Story

My favourite all time look, when I was younger, and was shared by Mom, was Rita Moreno, in her lilac dress dancing to America in West Side Story. That dress was perfect for Rita and for the dance. It was fluid, with simple lines, and I adored the colour. Even now, whenever I see this scene, I think of my Mom.

My Mom was a seamstress and designer. She never used a pattern, but was able to sew beautiful clothes. Especially when I was younger, it was challenging to find clothes that properly fit me, but with my Mom, I had custom made dresses, tops, shorts, skirts, school bags – you name it! Had she been alive and able, she would have definitely made clothes for my kids.

Image 2 – Audrey Hepburn – My Fair Lady

If I had had a Western wedding, I would have had this dress re-created to wear. The dress in question is worn by Audrey Hepburn’s character on her debut at her first ball. The Empire Waist, the beading, her jewellery – all exquisite. Every time she makes her first appearance, I am in awe. And to top it off, the perfect up do. It is just elegance refined.

Image 3 – Anne Hathaway – The Devil Wears Prada

So many iconic looks, but my favourite is Andy’s outfit when she is told by Miranda Priestly, that she is going to Paris with her for Fashion Week; a crisp white shirt, black short sleeves sweater, Chanel necklace and tweed hat – that is my fashion love letter. I am actually wearing a play on this today, only my sweater is Pink for International Day of Pink and alas, no hat! But I love a great hat to finish off my outfits!

Image 4 – Faye Dunaway – The Thomas Crown Affair

Faye’s character exudes style, grace and confidence in every look. A mix of blazers, mini skirts and turtlenecks, with delightfully stylish hats – Chef’s kiss! When she attends to play Chess at Steve McQueen’s house, she is wearing a gorgeous lilac coat, which she then removes to reveal a chiffon layered dress that is coquettish and pretty at the same time. Perfection.

This has been so much fun and I am looking forward to sharing more looks! For me fashion is a part of representing who I am and providing me with the confidence to be my best self. I am constantly getting ideas from other people and now being older, I know what works for my body and style, which is great.

But that’s just one Diva’s view.

#moviefashion #iconiclooks

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Kelly Clarkson – thank you!

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So one of the best parts of my day, is my drive to and from work. To place it in context, for many years (more than 20 years), my commute consisted of public transportation, which can be limiting. Trains, subways, buses, streetcars – you name it, I have taken it. The positive about public transportation was my ability to read each day, which allowed me to explore so many books and genres and I miss that! My degree of reading has lessened drastically. PSA – Reading transformed my life and I cannot imagine a world without books! #READ!!

However, when I got my car, it included satellite radio and I decided to maintain the subscription. A few months afterwards, Kelly Clarkson introduced a new station on satellite radio and I have to say, that has been a game changer for me. She shares the same eclectic taste in music that I do, which has been amazing.

Most people don’t like my musical playlists, because I like so many genres of music and I like to listen to all of the various genres, without rhyme and reason. And surprise, surprise – so does Kelly Clarkson. She goes from pop, to country, to jazz standards, to R&B and alternative music and it has been fantastic.

Many times, when she is playing a song by an artist, she provides a commentary on why she likes the music and her memories associated with the songs, and I love that experience. Music really allows you to be transported back in time, to a certain memory or feeling, which is powerful. And I love that she highlights lesser known artists, and has expanded my musical likes.

I have always like Kelly’s vibe and have been a fan from the onset. My brother and I watched the inaugural season of American Idol and were so happy when Kelly won. I have always loved her music and her contributions to various soundtracks.

When she returned to American Idol years later, pregnant, singing, Piece by Piece, I cried more than Keith Urban. The rendition was truly poignant and powerful, and still today, when I watch her, I tear up. If you have not watched it – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmMzv9Fen_s, please do so.

Throughout her career, what has stood out has been her realness, her joy, her talent and her ability to connect through her music. Now discovering that we have many similar musical influences and likes, has strengthened my appreciation of her.

And honestly, isn’t it great to find a connection with someone?

And so, if you happen to pass by me on my commute, you will likely see me singing along to my favourite music, care of Kelly Clarkson!

But that’s just one Diva’s view.

#KellyClarksonConnection

Influences, Memories

George Michael

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Like many women of my era, I was first introduced to George Michael through WHAM. Initially, they really were not my cup of tea. I was not into bands which had a huge female following, who just fanned out for the group, wearing their swag and just going into hysterics. In the same way, I was never a huge New Kids on the Block fan either. 

But then my Dad really loved Careless Whisper and played it a lot at home. And my Dad was a huge musical influence for me growing up. And from that song, I was hooked. I became a FAN!! In grade 5, I asked for Wham’s Make it Big album for my birthday present. I listened to that album non stop and knew all the words. I still have it and it is at the front of my album collection. 

And in grade 7, when George Michael released his solo debut, I had that cassette. And even though it had some controversial lyrics, no one was stopping me from grooving to that cassette! My fandom continued! And quite honestly, George Michael’s music has been with me throughout. High School was Listen without Prejudice, which contains my favourite song, George Michael’s interpretation of Stevie Wonder’s “They Won’t Go When I go”. During university, he released “Older” and it was the perfect music to play at night, just looking out the window, wondering who I was going to be when I was Older. 

When I was in Law School, he released Unplugged, which has my favourite version of “Everything She Wants”, recorded in Japan. And then he released Songs from the Last Century, where he came out as being gay in a small lyric of a song referring to his lover as “he”. I remember my roommate’s boyfriend teasing me that my musical boyfriend was gay and that this would ruin my adoration for him; that guy did not know anything! I was glad that George was comfortable being himself and sharing himself with his audience. I felt like he trusted his fans to be himself and sing about his true life. It was insightful. 

His voice and his interpretation of songs, has just always been magical and hypnotizing to me. And when he did covers, he always re-did my favourite songs such as Stevie Wonder’s “As” or Roberta Flack’s “The First Time” or Bonnie Rait’s “I can’t make you love me”…..I could go on. 

I loved his videos, his cheeky take on controversies and his general attitude. His confidence and soulful voice have been a companion and a part of my soundtrack of my life. Honestly, I can reference so many amazing moments, and his voice was always present or in the background of those memories – that’s how important he has been to me. 

I was lucky enough to see him in concert with my husband and for me, it was hands down, one of the best musical experiences in my life. He transported me that night with his music and I am grateful that I finally had that experience.

When he passed away, my close friend shared the news, knowing how important he was to me. It was at that moment that I understood the fans of the Beatles or Elvis, being devastated. 

It was upsetting because you knew, he had more to share, and that although his music would live on, he was no longer. 

Whenever a George Michael song comes on the radio, it does not get changed. I hope that one day, my kids can discover his music and appreciate it, even in a little way. I think that they will have a better understanding of me, by doing so.

But that’s just one Diva’s view.

#GeorgeMichael #MusicalInfluences

Memories

John Denver

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I know – not a subject that anyone would expect me to write about. However, John Denver has been a constant in my life - a reassuring constant.

My parents watched a lot of variety shows while I was growing up. Although I was too young, I know that my parents watched the John Denver show during my infancy, and his soothing voice must have made an impact, because I have always loved his voice.

For kids my age, our version of a variety show was the “Muppet Show”. John Denver is one of the guests that I remember fondly from that show. He had a very unassuming way, but very likeable. He looked like the type of person that if you needed help, he would assist. For a kid – that makes an impact.

And when he sang, the songs were always memorable and pure. They left a memory for you. As I have a milestone birthday coming up, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my influences. 

As you know, music has always been a huge influence for me. My birth year, John Denver released one of my favourites which he co-wrote – Sunshine on my Shoulders https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diwuu_r6GJE:

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a day that I could give you
I’d give to you a day just like today
If I had a song that I could sing for you
I’d sing a song to make you feel this way

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

If I had a tale that I could tell you
I’d tell a tale sure to make you smile
If I had a wish that I could wish for you
I’d make a wish for sunshine all the while

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
Sunshine almost all the time makes me high
Sunshine almost always

What amazing lyrics and such a pleasing melody. It is the perfect song for me because honestly, I am a person very impacted by the sun and sunshine. It perfectly encapsulates my feelings about the sun and how our family has always had amazing memories during the summer or somewhere hot! The sun always makes me feel happy and at my best. 

And ofcourse, in school, we learned Country Roads, which to me is almost like an anthem. It is honestly one of my favourite songs to sing and it is surprisingly, how many people know all of the lyrics to this song. Again, written by John Denver, for me, it reminds me of my Mom. She grew up in the country side, although not in the USA and the feeling of this song, seems to capture “country living” which I always associate with my Mom.

When John Denver passed away, I was in Law School and my roommates and I were throwing a birthday party for a friend at our place. Many friends showed up with other friends, and no joke – this guy showed up and he looked exactly like John Denver. It was a bit eerie, but all throughout the evening, we kept coming up to him, asking him to sing our favourite John Denver songs. For all of us that evening, we always remember it is as our John Denver party. 

And so for me, John Denver has been a constant in my life. And as I reflect, I am so happy that I have been influenced by such an amazing story teller, both in lyrics and in song.

But that’s just one Diva’s view.

#JohnDenver #milestone