I was recently at an event, and honestly, I almost didn’t go. Unforeseen circumstances had conspired against my glow-up for a while, and I was not feeling like my best self. But I got ready anyway, and after what felt like a small eternity, I looked in the mirror and thought: nice to feel glamorous again!
Turns out the universe agreed, because the compliments started before I’d even arrived — my Uber driver led the charge! By the time my husband showed up, I was feeling like myself again, and we had an honest-to-goodness blast. It had been a while since we’d had a proper night out, and we made the most of it, mingling with friends and colleagues; apparently we still know how to have fun!
Then, later in the evening, an acquaintance wandered over to say hello and, mid-conversation, dropped: “You look like you have the Fridays.”
I blinked. I do not, in fact, know what “the Fridays” are, so I asked. Turns out it means I looked like I’d had a long week; tired, run down, basically the human equivalent of a Friday at 4:58pm. Cool. Great. Thanks so much.
I could have said something back. I had several somethings queued up, in fact. Instead, I laughed it off, because apparently I contain multitudes, including restraint I didn’t know I had. It stung anyway, it always does, but I refused to let one offhand comment hijack an evening I’d worked hard to show up for.
And the universe, ever the comedian, had perfect timing: minutes later, my husband and I hit the photo booth, where the photographer declared us the best-dressed couple of the night. So, you know. Everyone’s got an opinion. Some of them even come with better lighting.
Still, the comment lingered, the way these things do. I kept circling back to it: did you need to say that? Maybe I did look a little tired — or maybe that was more about her than about me. Either way, it raised a question I think about more than I’d like to admit: whatever happened to not saying every single thing that crosses your mind?
We live in a world right now where we’re bombarded by inequality, violence, and hate — and whether we admit it or not, that steady drip has seeped into how we treat each other, even in small, everyday moments like a passing comment at a party.
Here’s the thing, though: none of us are privy to what’s going on behind the scenes for anyone else. The person next to you might be fighting a health scare, white-knuckling their way through economic uncertainty, or just quietly exhausted from carrying something you can’t see. So maybe “the Fridays” wasn’t really about me at all.
Which brings me to the real takeaway, the one I wish came standard with every social interaction: you can be uplifting and still be truthful. Those two things are not mutually exclusive, no matter what unsolicited commentary would have you believe.
So before you say it — whatever “it” is — ask yourself: do I need to say everything I’m thinking? And if the honest answer is no, ask the better question: how can I be kind instead?
Because at the end of the day, everyone’s just trying to get through their Friday.
But that’s just one Diva’s view.
